


Angels and Darlings

by ChrissyBrown1127



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 17:10:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9081829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrissyBrown1127/pseuds/ChrissyBrown1127
Summary: A collection of stories based on the main characters and their families. Lots of romance thrown in too. Not really T but some chapters will be rated T. Review please and enjoy the ride along with me. Switches between past, present, and future.





	1. Chapter 1

The gang is in the Shepard basement.

Aiden is reading off a small box. "A UNICEF contribution of thirteen cents will feed a child for a month. Man, living in Africa must be great! Everything's so cheap." he exclaims.

"If you ask me, man, UNICEF's a scam." Anthony said.

"If we ask you, everything's a scam." Tanya pointed out.

"Everything is a scam." Anthony insisted.

"Oh, lighten up. Remember how much fun Halloween used to be? Making costumes, Trick-or-Treating…" Bailey trails off.

"What is Trick-or-Treating again?" Eli questions.

'Well, you put on a costume, you go door to door and say, trick-or-treat! And people give you candy." Maya exclaimed.

"Oh, you got to be kidding me! They just give you candy?" Eli questioned.

"The best part of Halloween is getting the crap scared out of you. One year, I saw "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow"; I couldn't sleep for, like, a month!" Bailey interrupted as everyone just stares at him.

"They give you candy? Just like that, no strings?"

"Yes, Hunt, get over it!" Danielle shushed him.

"Hey, you guys, you know what? My church is doing a haunted house." Anna suggested.

"I really don't think anyone's gonna be scared by a bunch of Episcopalians." Chelsea points out.

"Unless they have chainsaws! Let's go see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre! They are playing a rerun!" Aiden suggests, giddily.

"Aiden, I told you! I don't like Texans!" Danielle told her boyfriend.

"I know! Uh, we can go to Old Maine." Bailey suggests.

"Our old grammar school?" Tanya questioned her boyfriend.

"Yeah, sure, you know, a dark, burnt out, boarded up school, very creepy? We could, you know, we could tell ghost stories." he explained.

"Free candy? Even if you're an Asian?" Eli interjected.

"Yes!" Callahan shouts.

"Hey, why'd they burn down the school, anyway?" Chelsea asked.

"Oh, they said it was arson." Anna told her as everyone in the room looks in Anthony, Bailey, and Maya's direction.

"What? We was out of town that week." Anthony insisted.

"Hm. How convenient." Anna snorted.

"So you're telling me…that if I showed up at someone's house and say trick-or-treat, they'll give me a free piece of candy?" Eli asked.

"YES!" Everybody shouted in annoyance.

"Oh, I don't believe you." Eli snorts.

Cut to the inside view of a door. It opens, and Eli is standing there in a Batman costume holding an open bag. The rest of the gang is behind him in normal clothing, waiting for him to be finished.

"Trick-or-treat!" The person dumps an apple into Eli's bag. "An apple? Where the hell's my candy, you son of a bitch?" They slam the door in his face.

The movie theater. The camera is on Tanya and Bailey. You can hear a chainsaw revving and a scream.

"Oh, she's very good." Bailey said.

"I like her. I hope she lives." Tanya agreed as we hear a revving chain saw and another high-pitched scream. "Huh. Oh well." she snorted.

The camera moves to Aiden and Danielle. Aiden is half covering his eyes.

"Why doesn't anyone just shoot him? I mean it's Texas; everyone has a gun." Danielle questioned.

"Yeah, yeah. This movie's so lame." Aiden agrees.

The camera moves over to Anthony, Callahan, and Eli. Eli is still dressed up as Batman. Anna, Chelsea and Maya are behind them.

"Man, she deserved it. She had sex. And like all movie sluts before her, she must die." Anthony said.

Revving chainsaws, another scream can be heard.

"No! She was about to take her shirt off!" Eli exclaims.

The Sloan house. The doorbell rings and a very pregnant Addison goes to answer it. She sees all the children and smiles at them, reminding her of her sons; teenage Noah and younger Ryan who are not home at the moment.

"Trick-or-treat!" The kids greet, holding out their bags.

Addison laughs. "Ok, here you go. Mmm! Raisins!"

The kids scream "Eeew!" as they walk off.

"No, raisins are good for you! Raisins are nature's candy!" She shuts the door and it gets hit by eggs.

'And eggs are nature's hand grenade. Red, don't give 'em raisins! It just pisses 'em off! Jeez. I hate Halloween!" Mark scoffed as he goes into the living room.

"Well, you used to love Halloween! Remember that party we had when we first moved in here when Tanya was two?' She goes into the living room as well. As she opens the door, the screen goes from color to black and white, indicating a flashback to Halloween, 1988. Addison enters the room dressed up in her lab coat and carrying bowls of food.

"Oh. Mother. I see that you and Father let each-other in again!" Addison said, noticing her mother.

"Boy! That's an awful lot of food! I can't imagine that you have that many friends, Addison." Bizzy exclaimed.

"Oh. Well, speaking of friends, how are your three cats, Mother?" she asked referring to her siblings Archer, Avah, and Alana who still live with her parents. Mark walks in with their friend, George, carrying beer.

"Hey, O'Malley, uh, pull my finger!" Mark suggested as he continued to hold the beer.

"No way. You were killing me in the car, man!" George said.

"Oh, good, you're home!" Addison exclaims she runs up to Mark and gives him a hug and a kiss.

"Hey, Addison! I like your outfit. You're a doctor!" George comments forgetting that they're surgeons.

"Yes, I am, George. And what are you?"

"Bum. I'm a bum!"

"And I knew that!" Addison, turned to Mark. "Mark, honey, um…I-I could, I could use some help here." she tells her husband while indicating Bizzy.

"Uh, gee, Addie, I'd really like to help you out, but, uh, we gotta take these out to the garage and get plowed!" Mark tells his wife and he and George walk out.

"He is such a good boy!" Bizzy said, referring to her son in-law.

The phone rings. Addison answers it. "Hello?…Oh, hi, Dr. Hill…Hm. Really?…" She turns away from Bizzy and smiles.…Oh my god! Oh! Thank you! Thank you, doctor!…Yeah, thank you!" She hangs up. She looks worried as she turns back to Bizzy. "Wrong number."

"Oh, god. No! You're pregnant!" Bizzy exclaimed, figuring her daughter's second pregnancy out all on her own.

"Yes, I am." her daughter admitted and smiled.

"Do you know who the father is?"

"You know what I hear is nice? Australia!"

Back to color at the old school. The gang is lurking around with flashlights. Eli is still dressed up as Batman.

"Look at this dump! No wonder Anthony and Bailey tried to burn it down!" Eli exclaims.

"You know, Eli, a man died in that fire. A gym teacher. Coach…Prince. Some say his specter still roams the halls to this day." Bailey told him.

Anthony is holding the flashlight under his face, and making his voice quiver. "Take a laaaaap! Give me twenty, walk it oooooff!" he exclaimed spookily.

"All right, guys, let's just cut it out, ok?" Aiden asked, toughening up. "You're scaring the women!" Just then, a windowpane falls down. Aiden bolts, pushing Danielle into Eli. "OUT OF MY WAY!" he screamed.

"Karev, it was the window!" Callahan called out.

Aiden pokes his head into the room from the hallway. "Yeah! I know that." he stated.

Danielle goes up to him, "Out of my way?" she asked.

"No, I didn't say that!" Aiden insists.

"Yes you did, right before you knocked her over." Eli points out much to Aiden's dismay.

"No! I, I was protecting you!" Aiden stammered.

"Protecting me?" Danielle questioned.

"Yeah! I was trying to draw the ghost away from you. Ghosts are attracted to movement, and that's a scientific fact!" Aiden tells his girlfriend, quickly.

"You know what, I don't care! You are an idiot and science is stupid!" Danielle marches toward the door. "Tanya, let's go."She said as she pulls her older sister to the door.

"Gee, wonder what we're gonna talk about." Tanya retorted as they walk out of the room.

Anthony shines the flashlight again and shaking his voice. "You're dooooomed!"

Cut to Danielle and Tanya in a different room.

"God, I can't believe Aiden pushed me out of the way like that!" Danielle exclaims.

"Me neither! I figured he'd use you as a human shield!" Tanya said in sarcasm.

"Tanya, the most noble thing a man can do is lay down his life for the woman he loves. Ideally, while she's still young and can remarry! Do you know who protected me there? Eli and he has a girlfriend."

"Well, he had to; he's Batman."

In the other room where the guys are. They're seated around a table telling ghost stories. The camera swings from person to person in the familiar "getting high" style.

"And the man said, "Here's your daughter's sweater. She left it in mycar, last night." And the woman said, "Why, that's impossible. My daughter died ten years ago. Wearing that...very...sweater." Bailey said.

"So?" Callahan questioned.

"So, she was dead. And…he gave her a ride. And she was dead!"

"Your story was not scary." Eli commented.

"Not scary? The ghost of a dead girl gave him her sweater!" Bailey exclaims.

"What does a ghost need with a sweater, big brother?" Anthony asked.

"Maybe it's to keep her guts from falling out." Aiden laughs.

"You can tell it was not scary because Aiden-ina here did not run screaming for the door!" Eli pointed out.

"Hey. Where's it written that a guy has to protect his girl? Huh? And I'll have you now that the feminine form of my name is Aidene." Aiden told him.

"Look, Aidene. I don't wanna come out in favor of saving Danielle, but that's the price you pay for docking your love boat in Danielle-vyarta." Anthony turns to him.

"OK. So, Icabod Crane lived in the village of Sleepy Hollow." Bailey began.

"Wait, don't tell me. He left his jacket somewhere!" Eli exclaimed.

"Ok, that's it. Halloween's over. There's just, there's nothing that scares us anymore." Bailey moved his arms more around as Danielle and Tanya walk in holding some yellow folders.

"Hey, guys. We found something scary." Tanya said.

"Yeah, it was in the principal's office." Danielle adds.

Tanya puts the folders on a table as Bailey shines his flashlight on them.

"Oh my god, those look like…like…" Bailey trailed off surprised.

"They are. Our permanent records." Tanya told him.

The gang is examining the folders.

"Wow. Our permanent records! Oh, you know what? They probably left these here after the school burned down." Callahan states.

"Hey! Sloan, Danielle." Anthony says as picks up a folder and looks in it. "Well! Looks like someone we know had a real hard time keeping her clothes on in kindergarten!"

Danielle exclaimed, "What?" She grabs the folder. "That was just a stupid phase."

"Sure glad that's over." Aiden mutters and said, "Well, listen to this:" He reads from another folder. "I fear that despite Anthony's high IQ, he's a born trouble maker and is destined to be the smartest man!" Anthony smiles but Aiden is not done reading. "In his cellblock!"

"What? They couldn't have known that in second grade." Anthony grabs the folder from Aiden and reads from it. "Anthony willfully and maliciously destroyed Gem Mayfield's shoebox diorama of the four food groups."

"You're a monster. A horrible, horrible monster." Tanya exclaimed.

"Yeah, real funny, but I didn't do it." Anthony sneered.

"You know what's really funny, Anthony?" Callahan asked his cousin.

"What, Torres?" Anthony asked back.

"Heh heh. I broke the diorama." Callahan told him and Anthony looks up from the folder.

"You?" His cousin asked as lightning flashes in the window.

"Hers was better than mine. I had to smash it. I left out dairy."

"You know, that's when everybody turned against me. They pegged me as a bad kid. And once that happens, you're labeled forever. You ruined my life, Grey!" Anthony turned to his cousin.

"No, he didn't! Shepard, no offense, but with over-working surgeon parents and a rap sheet, you were bound to end up in jail sooner or later." Danielle intervenes and Anthony glares at her. "Shepard, I said no offense."

"Yeah, right, let's see what that file says more about you, Danielle." He picks up a folder and flips through it.

"Go ahead, I have a near perfect record." she tells him.

Anthony snorts as he looked more at Danielle's folder. "Would anybody like to know what Danielle's middle name is?"

Danielle screams.

"Danielle's middle name is…" Anthony began.

"No!" Danielle throws her hands around Anthony's throat. The camera focuses on the wall, where all we can see is their shadows. Danielle beats him down with her flashlight. "Oh, I hate you!"

Anthony lies still for a few seconds, then he sits up. "It's Amaziah!" he announced much to the red-head girl's embarrassment.

Back to the black and white flashback. Some kids ring the doorbell and Addison answers it.

"Trick-or-treat!" the kids say.

"Oh, you look so cute in your little costumes!" Addison gushed as we see Tanya toddling around and Mark and George jump in the doorway and shriek. The kids run away, scared.

"Damn, George, that's funny! Look, he lost his candy!" Mark exclaimed and received a glare from his wife.

Addison walks away from the door. "Oh, that was not funny, Mark. Those were just little kids." she said.

"Well, that's what makes it funny!" he insists as his red-headed baby girl toddled around more.

"Well, think about it, honey, would it be funny if it were Tanya and your other kids?"

"But I don't have any more kids."

"Well, you might have another one!"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying…I'm pregnant!" Addison blurted out in bliss.

"Oh, no!" Mark muttered as he saw his wife's dejected face, "No! I mean, uh…oh, crap." he corrected himself, much to his wife's disdain.

"Yeah." She walks away.

The school. Callahan and Anthony are staring at each other.

"All right, nobody move! Somebody took my last box of Reeses Pieces!" Eli exclaimed and there was a pause, "Oh, no, wait! I was sitting on them!"

"Gee, Hunt. You didn't give Cal a chance to pin it on me." Anthony sneers.

"I didn't pin anything on you!" Callahan insists.

"No? Well, when Mrs. Thornberg yelling at me in front of the whole class, you didn't exactly step up and take responsibility. What were you thinking?"

"Hmm, I guess I was thinking, I'm seven!"

"Hey, hey, hey! Let's not fight, all right! It's Halloween, man! It's time for peace on earth and good will towards men! Let's read another file." Aiden suggested.

"Yeah, 'cause that's working out great so far." Tanya retorts.

"All right, fine! I'll read from my own, okay?" Aiden picks up his own folder and looks at it. "Oh, OK. When I was in first grade I used to wear this red cape to school and pretend I was Superman. You all know that."

"You looked really stupid."Eli fixes his Batman gloves and stretches out his fingers.

"Seriously, Karev?" They advance on Aiden. Danielle runs in front of him to stop them.

"All right! All right! Everybody just leave him alone! OK? Because he may be a freak, but at least he's not a back stabber like Cal." Danielle put her hands on her hips.

"Stay outta this, Amaziah." Tanya shushed her little sister.

"Oh, don't call me that."

"Oh, sorry! Amaziah."

"Fine! You know what? Tanya kissed Anthony last year." Danielle reveals.

"What?!" Bailey questioned.

"Don't mess with me!"

"That's…that's a lie, Anthony kissed me." Tanya insists.

"Well, that is just so much better!" Bailey turned to his little brother, "How could, how could you do this, little brother?"

"Guess I'm just a born trouble maker. Or maybe Cal turned me into one." Anthony shrugs.

Tanya gave a death glare at her little sister, "You are so dead, Amaziah!" she exclaims.

"Hey, hey! Leave her alone, all right?" Aiden told her.

"Ok, yeah. Danielle told me Eli was a better kisser than you, Aiden." Tanya shot back.

"Ah!"

Bailey gets Tanya's attention, "Were you ever gonna tell me about Anthony?"

"Hurts when your relatives stab you in the back, don't it?" Anthony questions with a slight smirk.

"How would I know? I have no relatives! Let's go, pal!" The room erupts into shouts as they fight with each other.

"STOP IT!" Eli screams. "Can't you see what is happening? Those permanent records are tearing us apart."

"Batman's right." Bailey stated.

"Look what we've become." Anthony said.

"We're like animals." Tanya agreed.

"Those files…are evil, man." Aiden comments.

"We've gotta destroy them." Danielle added.

"But how, Danielle? How?" Bailey finished the sentence.

"Oh my god, now my Reeses pieces really are gone!" Eli intervened.

There is a pause, Anthony slowly hands Eli his box of Reeses pieces and there is another pause.

Back to the black and white flashback. Addison is leaning on the car outside. Mark comes out.

"Ad, I'm really sorry about what I said." he said.

"You mean, "oh no" and "crap"?" she asked, resting her hand on her still-flat belly.

"Right, that's it. I'm sorry, it's just…it was a big shock, you know?"

"It was a really big shock for me, too and I said, "Oh, good!" And "yay!"

"No, I…I feel like that, too…it's just that I…well, I…I needed a minute for it to sink in. But once it sunk in I realized I was really happy." Mark admitted.

"You really mean that?" Addison asked, in happiness that her husband was cool about having another baby.

"Of course I do. It's gonna be great! I can't wait to be a father again!" he smiled looking into her eyes, as George walks out of the house holding a funnel attached to a hose type thing.

"Hey, Mark! Great news! I found a way to drink beer faster! Come on!" George announced which ended the couple's happy moment.

"Go home, George. I'm busy!" Mark demanded in annoyance that one of his friend's interrupted the happy moment between him, his wife, and their unborn child.

"OK! Yeah!" George nodded taking the hint, and goes back into the house.

"Oh, wow. I think you're maturing!" Addison exclaimed after George went back into the house.

"Well, you know, the truth is, George's getting on my nerves a little bit. I mean, he's kinda…he's kinda, he's an ass." Mark informed.

"Yeah."

"And he's dumb." He looks at Addison. "Hey. Come here." They go out into the driveway and dance for a bit, then kiss. As they kiss, the screen goes from black and white to color, indicating the end of the flashback.

"And then you gave birth to another beautiful daughter!"

"Uh-huh."

"And then Ryan and Noah."

"Who are just wonderful!"

"Then you're going to have another beautiful daughter near Thanksgiving."

"Yeah."

"And I've grown up a lot since then!" Just then, the Ford gets egged. "Oh, you're dead, kid!"

She grins and rubbed her swollen belly where the baby is doing a series of kicks.

The gang is circled around a hole in the ground. A wolf howls. Danielle looks nervous.

"Aiden, I'm cold. And this is stupid! We should just burn the files." Danielle said.

"Danielle, they've already been in a fire. They can't be destroyed that way." Aiden told her.

"See you in Hell, permanent records." Callahan dumps them into the hole.

"And we have to swear we'll never speak of this ever again." Bailey told his girlfriend.

"Except the part about us buying beer." Tanya adds.

"Yeah, naturally. But otherwise it's like…this night never happened, OK?" Bailey questioned.

"OK." Everybody agreed and there are a few moments of silence.

"Amaziah." Danielle attacks Anthony.

ENDING SCENE.

Anthony puts flowers on a grave and as he does, a hand comes out and holds the flowers out. He screams and then we see him on the couch in the Shepard living room.

"Ooh, Reeses Pieces." he grabs the box off his chest.


	2. Chapter 2

This is not written in regular format. Spoiler alert and Tanya is absent.

Danielle is in the living room making a video diary for Savannah.  
DANIELLE (into camera)  
Hi, Savannah. It's Danielle here. So, right now, you're Eleven months old, and everything is going great. Well, almost everything. Now, what I'm about to show you is kind of disturbing. So brace yourself.

Danielle steps through into the kitchen with the video camera and Ryan walks past. Noah is sitting at the table with his headphones over his ears. Danielle pans in closer to Maddison, the parents of the house, who are at the kitchen counter making sandwiches and talking like babies.

ADDISON (baby talk, holding a plate of sandwiches)

Hmm, these sandwiches will be yummy-wummy.

MARK (baby talk)

Yes they will, yes they will.

Danielle turns the camera onto her again.

DANIELLE (into camera)

Mom and dad have been talking like that ever since you arrived, and if it's not over soon (waves a finger around her head), I'm gunna' go queasy-weasy.

Danielle closes the video camera and puts it down on the bench. Over at the table, Ryan is yelling at Noah.

RYAN (shouting)

Noah!

NOAH (shouting)

What?!

RYAN (shouting)

What are you listening to?!

Noah takes off one headphone so he can hear.

NOAH

I downloaded a podcast on the history of ballet.

RYAN

You like that?

NOAH

More than baby talk.

Over at the counter.

ADDISON (baby talk)

Would you like some gold-fishies with your cookie-wookie?

MARK (baby talk)

I would, yes I would.

Danielle is in front of them at the bench and points at the baby pram which is empty.

DANIELLE

You guys, Savannah isn't even here.

ADDISON (baby talk)

No, little baby take a nappy-wappy upst'wairs.

DANIELLE

So why are you guys still talking like that?

MARK (baby talk, leaning down, seriously)

I don't r'weally know.

ADDISON

I guess we're just kinda' fried.

MARK (laughing slightly)

We work all day at the hospital, take care of the baby all night. Work-shift, baby-shift. I barely got time to make "do-do''.

DANIELLE

Well, when was the last time you guys had a night out? You know, like-like just the two of you. Like a date!

Mark and Addison and look at each other seriously for a second but then burst out laughing.

MARK (to Addison, through laughter)

Danielle made us funny. Hahahahahaha.

ADDISON (to Danielle, baby talk)

Funny-wunny.

DANIELLE (with determination)

No, but seriously. You know what? Saturday night. You two. You go out, you have fun, and do something besides work, take care of the baby, and... make "do-do".

Danielle walks over and joins the boys at the table.

ADDISON (going to the fridge)

Well, it's nice to dream, but who's gonna' take care of Savannah?

Danielle leans in between Noah and Ryan and puts her arm around them.

DANIELLE

Hello? You've got three great babysitters here.

NOAH (shouting, to Ryan)

I'm glad I didn't hear that!

Maddison stand in front of the kids.

ADDISON

I dunno', Danielle, it's a really nice thought, but we're not ready to go out without Savannah just yet.

RYAN (changing the subject)

You guys wanna' see a magic trick?

ADDISON

Sure!

MARK

OK.

RYAN (magician-like voice, rubbing his hands together)

Prepare to be amazed.

Mark and Addison pull faces as though they are captivated. Ryan waits a second and then pulls the sheet on the table from beneath the plates and glasses and everything goes smashing everywhere.

ADDISON

I could use a night out.

Addison walks off.

OPENING CREDITS.

Danielle is walking Mark and Addison to the door as they get ready to go out. She is holding Savannah.

DANIELLE

Alright. So you guys have fun. Stay out as late as you want. (pause) But not TOO much fun, we have enough kids already.

Mark laughs. Addison pats Savannah goodbye and walks to the door.

DANIELLE [CONT'D; to MARK]

I'm serious.

ADDISON

OK, everyone. Be good, have fun. Love you.

Addison walks out the door. Noah and Ryan are on the couch watching a laptop.

NOAH/RYAN (uninterested)

Yeah, yeah...

MARK

Hey Danielle, thanks for doing this. It's going to be good for your mother and I have to have some special time together.

ADDISON (VO)

(calling from outside) MARK! MOVE YOUR BUTT!

MARK (calling back)

I'm comin'!

Mark moves outside. Danielle walks over to the couch, still nursing Savannah, to talk to the boys.

DANIELLE

Okay, so. If we divide it up evenly, we all get to spend an hour with Savannah. (happily) Who wants to go first?

RYAN

I think you should go first.

NOAH

And second and third, since this was your idea.

DANIELLE (distressed)

Hey, I'm not doing this all by myself! You guys have to help out.

NOAH (standing, with a sigh)

Fine. I'll go fourth.

DANIELLE

There is no fourth.

NOAH (with a Shakespearean accent)

I meant, "I shall go forth to the park to shooteth some hoop."

Noah goes to walk out, and Danielle pulls him back by his hoodie.

DANIELLE

If you want to go to the park so badly, then why don't you just take Savannah?

NOAH

Well what's a baby supposed to do at a park?

Danielle passes Savannah into Noah's arms.

DANIELLE

Babies love parks. You can show her the duck pond...the blue sky...the clouds...

NOAH (complaining)

We're just going to look at stuff? That's what TV is for!

Danielle points to Noah as if to encourage his departure.

At the park, Savannah lying in her stroller to the side of the sea-saw area. Noah is having a good old time on a blue one person sea-saw that he is far too big for. A young boy is waiting in line to have a go and is looking impatiently at Noah as he swings back and forth shouting with enjoyment.

NOAH (swinging on the ride)

YEAH-HHHAA! Alright! This is great! Weeehhhh! Yess! WHOA! (to the boy staring at him) What are you looking at?! I was here first. (pointing to the ride behind) Hey, you can ride that duck. I-I couldn't ride the duck. I'd look silly on the duck. (the boy just continues to stare at him) FINE. (Noah gives in and gets off the ride. He goes over to the stroller and leans down to Savannah's level, talking with enthusiasm) Hey there, Savannah! Are we having fun yet? Alright...

Noah puts the sun pullover up and continues walking through the park. An older, larger-sized man walks through the park towards Noah. He is wearing a purple suit and a cape, dressed like a superhero. He leans on a post, short of breath.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY (to Noah)

Hey. You seen a-a... kids birthday party around here anywhere? I'm the entertainment.

NOAH (pointing behind)

I saw a bounce-house on the other end of the park.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Bouncy-house, eh? Great, another trip to the ER.

Captain Stretchy starts to walk off, Noah turns and follows him a bit.

NOAH

Who are you supposed to be, anyway? Plastic-man? Rubber-man?

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Oh, those are all registered trademarks. (proudly) I'm Captain Stretchy. (pointing to the middle of his suit) Ah, there used to be a C.S. here, but it ah... it came off in the wash.

NOAH

So what's your super power?

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Super elasticity. (notices something on the ground) Hey, look, there's a quarter! (goes to lean over but finds it difficult to stretch down) Oh!...Ah, forget it. Not like it's a dollar, right?

Captain Stretchy walks off. Noah turns to walk away with the stroller and notices a beautiful young lady coming his way, with the exact same stroller. His face lights up as he is automatically attracted to her, she smiles at him in return. Noah does a loop around her, bumping into a post, until he is at her side.

NOAH (brightly)

Hi.

BELLE

Hi.

NOAH

I, ah... I like your taste in strollers.

BELLE (chuckles)

He he... thanks, you too. (looking at Savannah, soft voice) Oh, wow! That baby is so cute.

NOAH

You two. (Belle looks stunned) Oh, I mean... YOURS too.

BELLE

I'm Belle.

NOAH

I'm Noah. (pointing at Belle's stroller) Who's this little guy?

BELLE (proudly; pulling the sun-cover)

My brother. We're just out for our stroll. We do this every day.

NOAH (trying to impress)

Us two. Like I always say, babies love parks. (pause... points towards the park chairs) Would you like to sit for a bit?

BELLE

Sure. (the two of them push their strollers over to the chairs as they sit) So, I saw you talking to Captain Stretchy earlier.

NOAH

Oh, yeah. He was lost. Not much of a superhero, right?

BELLE

Oh, he's the worst. We hired him for my brother's birthday party, and he sat on the cake.

NOAH

That sounds awful.

BELLE

Oh, it gets worse. The candles were lit, so he sat in the punch.

NOAH

That is so weird. I mean, he looks like such a quality entertainer.

The two of them chuckle.

BELLE

You know, Noah, I'm really impressed that you take your sister to the park. My brothers would never do anything like that.

NOAH

Well, I hope not. (pause) She is my sister.

Belle and Noah chuckle again.

Back home at the house, Danielle is sitting on the couch and Ryan is standing in front of her wearing a magician's hat.

RYAN

Now, watch closely. In this hand, I have a quarter. (shows the coin) And in the other hand, an ordinary egg. (shows the egg in the other hand... takes off his hat and places them both inside) Now, I put them both inside this hat... spin them around a little... (does so)... and PRESTO.

Ryan tips the hat upside down... and both items fall out. The egg cracks open on the coffee table, protected by a piece of newspaper.

DANIELLE

Just out of curiosity, what was supposed to happen?

There is an awkward staring moment between the two siblings. The quiet is broken as the front door bursts open and Noah comes walking through with an energetic persona, pram in front of him.

NOAH (enthused)

I love this baby! Any time she wants to go to the park, sign me up.

DANIELLE (walking over)

What happened to you?

Noah shuts the front door, and Ryan lies comfortably on the couch.

NOAH

Let's just say... Savannah made a friend, Noah made a friend.

Danielle goes to look at Savannah but smells something...

DANIELLE

Oh, and did either you or your friend bother to change a diaper?

Danielle takes the stroller and walks around the lounge.

NOAH

There was no time for that. I was too busy talking to Belle. (sits down on the couch beside Ryan)

RYAN

Who's Belle?

NOAH (dreamily)

A vision... an Angel... the girl who has moved into my heart.

RYAN (cheekily)

Did you tell her about the vacancy in your brain?

Noah looks slightly offended.

DANIELLE (panicked, looking in the stroller)

Noah...

NOAH

What?

DANIELLE

You brought home the wrong baby!

NOAH (trying to laugh it off)

What? I did not... !

Noah and Ryan walk over to the stroller and are stunned as they notice the authenticity of Danielle's previous statement... Noah did bring home the wrong baby!

DANIELLE (removing the diaper)

Take a look... wrong parts!

As the three look inside the stroller, a big spray of urine comes out as if it was aimed directly for them. They dodge it, only just.

RYAN

There's nothing wrong with those parts!

Ryan goes back to the couch...Noah and Danielle remain standing in shock as they come to terms with what has just happened...

DANIELLE (frustrated)

How could you bring home the wrong baby?!

NOAH

I'm sorry, I got a little distracted...(grinning)...Belle is REALLY cute.

DANIELLE

Yeah? Well, so was our baby sister. (walking towards the door with the stroller) Come on, let's go to the park and find her.

NOAH

Relax! I got her number.

DANIELLE

Well, then what are you waiting for? Call her!

Noah goes to get his phone from his pocket... but hesitates... then sits down on the couch.

NOAH (unsure)

Wait a minute...is it too soon? If I call now, she'll think I'm desperate.

DANIELLE

Oh, you ARE desperate.

NOAH

Good point. (Noah gets to his feet and dials up Belle's number, raising the phone to his ears as he talks...) Hello...? Is Belle there? (pause) This is a Italian restaurant? (Danielle rolls her eyes) Sure, I'll hear the specials!

Danielle, annoyed, hangs up the phone.

DANIELLE (let down)

She gave you the wrong number.

Ryan is still alert to the situation around him, but is sitting on the couch reading through a comic book.

RYAN (sarcastically)

Who couldn't see that one coming?

NOAH disappointed)

But... I gave her gum... and helped her change a poopey diaper... it was so romantic.

DANIELLE

Well... what do we do now?

Danielle's mobile starts ringing. She goes over and looks put off as she inspects the caller ID...

DANIELLE

Oh no...(answers phone, with nervous enthusiasm) Hi Mother, what up? ...Yeah, everything's going great. Why wouldn't it be? We're...we're just having a grand old time here with...(tries to figure out the name of the baby in the stroller, but Noah shrugs)... baby. Yeah, sure you can talk to him... HER, HER! (holding the phone down to the stroller) Talk to Mommy... (realizes she must make something up, starts making baby-monkey noises) ...Well, what do you mean that didn't sound like Savannah? What, you think I'm just making baby noises into the phone? Mother, that's crazy. Alright, bye... say bye Savannah! (makes distant baby noises and fades it off as she hangs up the phone) Ahh...

NOAH

Not that I'm in the position to criticize, but I was getting more monkey.

Danielle decides to start taking action to solve the problem and reaches for the stroller.

DANIELLE

Come on, let's go to the park.

RYAN

And meet the girl who blew off Noah? (stands) I'm there.

The three of them head out the door. Noah looks annoyed at Ryan.

Danielle comes walking into the park, panicked, and pushing the stroller in front. Ryan and Noah are coming in behind her.

NOAH (looking around)

I don't see her.

DANIELLE

Noah, what did she look like?

NOAH

She was hot, but what does it matter?

RYAN

Maybe we should call someone...who do you call when you switch a baby?

NOAH

Captain Stretchy!

Noah excitedly points over to the other entrance of the park, where Captain Stretchy is still hanging out.

DANIELLE

Who is that?

Noah runs over to Captain Stretchy. He seems enthused.

NOAH

You're still here?

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Every Saturday and Sunday, all day long. Stay in school, kids.

Captain Stretchy leans over to the bubbler and gets a drink. By now, Ryan and Danielle with the stroller are behind him.

NOAH

Just the guy we needed to see. I-I think you can help us.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Hey, kid, I'm just an entertainer. I can't get Mommy and Daddy back together.

Captain Stretchy starts to walk off. The kids follow him.

NOAH

No, you don't understand. I was talking to a girl here earlier, and she said that you worked a party for her brother.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

So? I've worked lots of parties.

NOAH

Where was the party where you sat on the cake?

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

You got three hours?

DANIELLE (despairingly)

This is really important. We need to find her.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY (as though he is plotting something)

Interesting situation. You kids need info, and I...need a murdle. (places hands across his stomach)

DANIELLE

What is a murdle?

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

It's a man gurtle. And they ain't cheap.

DANIELLE (referring to Captain Stretchy's clothing)

Yeah, and neither is dry-cleaning, apparently.

NOAH

Name's Belle. Did she come back to the park?

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Well...(rubs his fingers together as though looking for money)...maybe she did, and maybe she didn't.

NOAH (frustrated)

Stop rubbing your fingers together and answer my question!

RYAN

He wants a bribe.

Noah mutters under his breath as he reaches into his pocket and gets out his wallet, passing Captain Stretchy a note.

NOAH

Here.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Here's what I know: her name is Belle.

NOAH

I just told you that!

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

I didn't say the information was fresh. (on Noah's disgruntled look) Yeah...yeah, I know the girl. She-she comes from a big family, seven/eight kids...for them, I've been uh...Astronaut Pete, ah...Cowboy Bob...ah...

RYAN

Magic Marve?

CAPTAIN STRETCHY (hopeful)

Yeah! You're familiar with my work?

RYAN (almost as if he is going to give a compliment)

Yeah!...and it stinks. (pause) I'm just starting off and I'm a better magician than you are.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Oh, yeah? You think this is easy, huh? (hands Ryan an unblown balloon) Here, turn that into a schnauzer. (Ryan just stares blankly at the balloon)You can't do it, ah? Ha ha ha...maybe it's because you don't have the (shouts) CHOPS!

Ryan eyes off Captain Stretchy as he walks away.

DANIELLE

Look, Stretchy, do you know where she lives?

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Yeah, 'round here somewhere. I'd know it if I saw it.

DANIELLE (smiling)

Great! You help us tonight, and we'll get you into that murdle tomorrow. (pause) Oh, wait, you understand...we're not going to put you INTO it...that you have to do by yourself.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Yeah, I get it.

DANIELLE

All right. Come on guys, we have to go find her.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Okay. Captain Stretchy, AWAY! (points his arms up towards the sky like a superhero and turns left)

NOAH (pointing right ahead)

Truck's this way.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Oh, right...

Embarrassed, Captain Stretchy turns around and follows the kids out of the park.

Mark and Addison are sitting a table in a restaurant, looking at the menu.

MARK (proudly)

Order whatever you want, honey. I get a discount here. This place is one of my best customers.

ADDISON

Not what you want to hear from an plastic surgeon.

Across from where Mark and Addison are sitting, is a family that has a stroller next to their table. The baby inside starts crying.

ADDISON [CONT'D]

Awwahh, look at that.

MARK (misunderstanding)

Oh, the heaters...

ADDISON

Not that. The baby...it's a little baby in a stroller just like ours.

And not only is it the same stroller...it's Belle's family. Savannah is inside the stroller.

MARK

OK, honey, this is supposed to be a night away from the baby, so let's come back. (kissed both his wife's hands)

ADDISON (calmly)

OKK. I'm back, I'm back! (gets up) I'm just gonna' run to the ladies room.

MARK

Oh! Hey, listen. While you're in there, could you chuck the traps?

Addison rolls her eyes at her husband of twenty-years and continues on. As she passes Belle's family, she looks inside the stroller, smiles and continues past...but then notices that the baby inside the stroller is surprisingly familiar...so she turns back and takes another look. Belle's family looks at her. She stares back.

ADDISON (waving; awkwardly)

Olah. (smiles...pause) Adios. (walks angrily and briskly over to her table again, tapping Mark on the back, and speaks in a hushed, agitated tone) Would you go over there and look at that baby? I think it's Savannah!

MARK (in disbelief)

What?!

ADDISON (distressed)

You heard me! That is Savannah!

MARK

Sweetheart, would you sit down?

ADDISON (agitated)

I will NOT sit down. A mother knows her baby, and that is MY baby.

MARK (laughs nervously)

OK, honey...seriously, what do you think happened here? In the last hour, somebody went over to our house, borrowed our baby, then brought her out for chips and guac?

ADDISON

I don't know. It's a big family...maybe that's how they get their babies!

MARK

Sweetheart, please...I think you're just missing Savannah. And you're having a little separation anxiety.

Addison finally comes to her senses. She calms down in her manner, brushes her hair away from her face.

ADDISON (relaxed)

Oh, OK...you're...(high pitched, pointing into her head) "Crazy, crazy".

The two of them chuckle as she sits down again.

ADDISON (through laughter)

I mean, that is impossible, right?

MARK

Exactly.

Pause.

ADDISON

I'm just gonna' go to the ladies room one more time...(stands)

MARK

Sit down, Addie.

Addison sits down again.

MARK

Now let's enjoy the rest of our night out, at this very lovely restaurant. OK?

ADDISON (nodding)

OK.

A waiter from the restaurant comes over and whispers something in Mark's ear, while Addison is distracted eating something from the entrée. Mark dismisses the waiter.

MARK (to his wife)

I'm needed in the kitchen, Red.

Mark gets a glass and jumps up from the table. He runs away into the kitchen. After he is gone, Addison puts down the chip in her hand with a disgusted facial expression.

Out on the streets, Noah is driving the kids and Captain Stretchy around. They are looking around, calling out for Savannah. Danielle and Noah are in the front, Ryan in the back with Captain Stretchy.

DANIELLE (calling out the window)

Savannah?

NOAH (calling out the window also)

Belle?

DANIELLE

Savannah?

NOAH

Belle?

RYAN

Marco?

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Polo!

DANIELLE (angry)

Ryan, not helping! Stretchy, does any of this look familiar? (points out the window)

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Maybe it does...maybe it doesn't.

DANIELLE (angry)

You are not getting any more money.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

No, I mean I have night blindness and all...all I'm seeing is shapes.

DANIELLE

Why didn't you mention that earlier?

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

I needed a ride home. Stop here. (Noah stops the car) Oh great, mom's up...maybe I'll just hang with you kids.

DANIELLE (flustered)

Captain Stretchy, away! (points out the car)

Captain Stretchy takes off his seatbelt and gets out of the car.

NOAH

Night, Stretchy.

RYAN

Night, Stretchy.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Goodnight. (closes the door and walks ahead out of sight)

RYAN

...Now what?

NOAH

Well, we didn't hit the streets on the north end of the park?

DANIELLE

Yeah, but we can't just keep driving around all night. OK? It's over. We have to tell Mother and Father.

NOAH

But...

DANIELLE (interrupting)

No, it'll be OK. They'll know what to do. They always do.

Noah looks ashamed of himself, downer in facial expression.

NOAH

How am I gonna tell them I lost our baby sister? (pause) I'm the third oldest...they're not going to think I'm the most responsible.

DANIELLE

Noah, if it makes you feel any better...nobody thinks that.

NOAH (takes a deep breath)

Why do I always mess everything up?

DANIELLE (trying to comfort Noah)

You know what? This could have happened to any of us. (pause) All right, probably, most likely you, but...for this one, we're all in it together.

NOAH (cheered a little)

Thanks.

Ryan has picked up a little card from the back.

RYAN

Hey, look. Captain Stretchy dropped his driver's licence. (laughs, after reading it) One hundred and seventy five pounds my butt!

Ryan chucks it out the window.

Back at the restaurant, Mark and Addison have their meals. There is a band of three people playing Mexican music with instruments, standing right next to their table. Mark 'bobbles' his head to the beat, as he seems to enjoy it... his wife, on the other hand, is sitting there with her arm on her forehead as though she is nursing a headache. They finish after a few seconds more and Addison claps them off, happy as they walk away to the next table. Not long after, Danielle, Noah, and Ryan (Danielle with the stroller) enter into the restaurant from around the corner.

NOAH (pointing at Mark and Addison)

There they are.

DANIELLE

All right, let's get this over with.

NOAH

Do-do you think it would be better or worse if we had the (points to the band) Tango deliver the news?

DANIELLE

Well, if it's Spanish, probably better...

As the band walks away from the table...Noah notices straight away that it is Belle's family sitting there. Noah stops Danielle from walking over to their parents.

NOAH

Wait, wait! I don't believe it. (pointing) That's Belle!

DANIELLE (hopeful)

Oh, wait, so that's Savannah?

NOAH

Yes! We're saved!

RYAN (pointing)

Not quite.

Noah and Danielle have seem to forgotten one thing...the parents, Mark and Addison are waving at them. Addison has an enthusiastic smile on her face.

ADDISON

Hey, kids!

The three of them wave back with uncomfortable smiles.

NOAH

What now?

DANIELLE

Ah...I'll let you know when I think of it. (walks over to Mark and Addison's table) Mom, dad...hi.

ADDISON

Hi!

MARK

What are you doing here?

DANIELLE

Well, we just realized you must be missing Savannah, so we... brought her. (points behind)

ADDISON

Oh, Danielle. You're not fooling me.

DANIELLE (alarmingly)

I'm not?!

ADDISON

Nope. You've spent a little too much time with Savannah, and you're ready to hand her over early.

DANIELLE

Well, I...I wouldn't say too much time.

ADDISON

Well, I am ready too. So let me at her! Gimme, gimme, gimme...

A stands and heads for the stroller at the door, but Danielle stops her.

DANIELLE

Mom! Mom! You're on a date. (sits Addison back down) Let me bring her to you.

ADDISON

OK...

Danielle runs back over to the entrance where Noah and Ryan are. Danielle leans over and whispers something in Ryan's ear.

RYAN

Here? (Danielle whispers again) Wait...now? Well, all right...

Ryan walks over to their parents table.

RYAN

Hey Mum!

ADDISON

Hey, baby.

RYAN

Hey, Dad.

MARK

Hey, Son.

RYAN

Something I want to show you.

ADDISON

What is it, honey?

Ryan is going to do his magic trick again. He reaches for the table cloth underneath all their food and pulls it out, food goes flying all over their faces...everything happens in slow motion...

MARK

No!

But it's too late. As this distracts Mark and Addison, Danielle picks up the boy inside Savannah's stroller as Belle also seizes the opportunity and takes Savannah from her brother's stroller...Danielle runs over, almost bumping into the band, and twirls around as she and Belle swap babies. Danielle runs back to Savannah's pram and places their sister right where she should be. Noah waves down his arm with a triumphant grin. They put the cover down and Danielle stands up, flicking her hair back. Their parents are still completely oblivious. Normal-motion resumes as Addison looks angrily at Ryan, since she now has guacamole all down her neck. Ryan tries to look innocent.

RYAN

And now for my next trick...I'm gonna make a boy disappear!

Ryan runs away quicker than ever and out the door. Noah walks over and meets Belle, who has stood up.

NOAH

You know, you should be ashamed of yourself. You lead a guy on, make him think you have a connection... and you give him a fake phone number. (holds out his phone)

BELLE (looking at the screen)

You put it in wrong. That 3 is supposed to be a 2.

Noah looks embarrassed.

NOAH

Oh...my bad. (awkward pause) So...want to get a table?

Belle looks disappointed and walks off. Noah follows after her. Over at table, Danielle is handing Savannah over to Addison.

ADDISON

My widdle baby...(in a baby voice, to Savannah) Did you miss your mommy and daddy?

MARK

(to Savannah, in a baby voice)

Yes you did, yes you did.

Danielle is smiling away, probably unable to believe they pulled everything off that they did.

DANIELLE

Oh...never thought I'd be so happy to hear baby talk.

Addison notices she is holding a dummy that is not Savannah's.

ADDISON

Danielle, this isn't Savannah's binky. Where did you get this?

DANIELLE

Oh, that's actually a funny story. You see, what happened was...

Danielle starts clicking behind herself in a violent rush in hope of getting the band to start playing again. They get the signal and do so...

DANIELLE (shrugging)

Too loud! Tell you later.

Addison thinks nothing more of it and takes a finger lick of the guacamole on her neck. She shrugs to Mark as if to say, "oh, not to bad".

Back at the Sloan Residence, during the night. Danielle is filming a video diary and is shooting footage of Savannah in a toy seat cradle. She is wearing a napkin that says, "DR POOPER."

DANIELLE (VO)

Yeahhh... Well, Savannah, now you're home – safe and sound, and everything turned out OK. For you. (clears throat and turns the camera around so it shows her face, she is sitting on the sofa) It would've been okay for us too, but...when we got home, Mother started asking all these questions...and no one really had an answer to the pee stains in the living room.

Addison comes into view of the video diary recording, as she sits beside Danielle.

ADDISON (gracefully, almost)

And that's when the truth came out. (smiles) And all the kids got into trouble. So, the lesson is, if you ever try to pull anything over on Mom...good luck Savannah.

Addison stands and walks off, leaving Danielle. Pause.

DANIELLE (tuffs)

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Danielle switches off the video recorder.

Another day in the park, Captain Stretchy is sitting on a park bench and Ryan is in front of him, with a magician's hat. He is holding a coin and an egg.

RYAN

In this hand, I have a quarter...(waves the coin in Captain Stretchy's face, he tries to grab it but Ryan pulls it away) And in the other hand, an ordinary egg...(the same thing happens, takes off his hat) Now, I put them in this hat...(does so) Spin them around... and... Presto. (takes just the egg from the hat and puts the hat back on) Now hold out your hand.

Captain Stretchy holds out his hand. Ryan cracks open the egg on Stretchy's forehead (no yolk or egg comes out). He puts the shell on Captain Stretchy's hand and a quarter is there.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY (inspecting the coin)

Wow...ah, that's a great trick! How did you do that?

RYAN (pacing back and forth diabolically)

Interesting situation. It seems you need information, meanwhile...I need a new video game. (rubs his hands together as though wanting money...Stretchy reaches to his side and gives Ryan a note. He walks off grinning...) What a chump.

CAPTAIN STRETCHY

Who are you calling a 'chump'? Come back here!

Captain Stretchy gets up from his seat and follows after Ryan.


	3. Chapter 3

It is breakfast time at the Sloan household, and everyone is in a tired, grumpy mood because the neighbor's dog has been barking all night (it can still be heard). Addison is sitting at the table feeding Savannah, who is sitting in her highchair. Addison's hair is all ruffled and messed up. Ryan is in the kitchen playing around with the toaster and Noah is sitting at the table with his cereal box. Danielle is walking around with the camcorder, making a video diary. She too is tired.

DANIELLE (yawning)

Hey, Savannah. It's your big sister Danielle with the latest installment of my video diary.

ADDISON (frustrated)

Danielle, turn that thing off. It's breakfast time.

DANIELLE (snappy)

In a minute! (sits down) That noise you hear is our neighbors annoying new dog. Ever since she got that little rat none of us have gotten any sleep.

ADDISON

Danielle, I asked you to do something.

DANIELLE

And I asked for a minute!

ADDISON (standing, angry)

Your breakfast is getting cold. (walks into kitchen)

DANIELLE (angry)

Well, then, just put it back in the toaster! (turns back to the camcorder, embarrassed) Sorry you had to see that.

Danielle closes the camcorder and swings around on her chair. Noah is tipping the cereal box inside out searching for a prize.

NOAH (annoyed)

There is no prize in here! (to Danielle) There's supposed to be a prize!

DANIELLE

You took it out yesterday.

NOAH

I know, but I put it back in so I'd have something to look forward too.

Addison walks back over to the table as Noah gets up. She has Savannah's cereal.

ADDISON (calling out)

Mark, where are you?

MARK (VO)

Can I have a minute?!

ADDISON (hostile as she puts the cereal in Savannah's bowl)

Well HURRY UP! YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON QUALITY FAMILY TIME!

Addison walks back into the kitchen. Ryan is hitting the toaster with a wooden spoon.

ADDISON

Ryan, stop hitting the toaster.

RYAN

But it's taking forever, Mother. I don't even remember what I put in here.

Back over at the table, Savannah is giggling and playing with her princess cup.

ADDISON (pretending to be calm and happy)

OK, Savannah, I will get you your juice in just a minute, honey.

Unexpectedly, Savannah screams and violently chucks her cup over towards Addison. It rebounds off the wall and falls to the ground.

DANIELLE

Wow. Even Savannah's in a mood.

The father of the house, Mark, comes out to the kitchen and goes straight to open the fridge.

MARK (disgruntled)

'Mornin'.

ADDISON (as she goes to the table again)

Mark, did you forget to do something?

MARK

I'll kiss you tonight. (gets the juice out and closes the fridge)

ADDUSON

No. You only shaved half your face.

MARK (fully turns to Addison)

Pick, pick, pick. Maybe this is how I like to wear it now.

ADDISON (frustrated)

Well, it looks ridiculous. What if I decided just to brush half my hair?!

MARK

I thought you already made that decision.

This ticks off Addison and she uprises, going for Mark straight away.

ADDISON

Oh, you are going down!

Addison charges for Mark, who backs off as Noah pulls back his mother.

DANIELLE

Wow, wow, wow! Stop. Stop. Do you guys hear that?

NOAH

I don't hear anything.

DANIELLE

Exactly. (pause) The barking stopped!

They all breathe sighs of relief. Ryan is standing by the toaster still and his toaster finally pops up, with a 'ping'. But then all of a sudden the barking starts all over again...

FAMILY (annoyed)

Oh, Ryan?! Really!

They all start yelling grievances at Ryan.

OPENING CREDITS.

A little bit later, Addison has put Savannah back to sleep and walks into the kitchen again. The dog is still barking.

ADDISON

Well at least Savannah's getting some sleep.

NOAH

Why did Mrs Bilow have to get that stupid dog anyway? Why couldn't she have got something that made less noise? Like a fish?

DANIELLE (matter-of-factly)

Fish don't make any noise.

NOAH

I wish you were a fish.

Noah gets up from the table and walks away.

MARK

Can we all agree that thing is a pest? Because as an plastic surgeon, it is my job to help take care of patients...(corrects himself) pests.

Ryan is at the counter making his toast still.

RYAN

When you say "take care of", I know you actually mean kill. (almost sarcastic) Which I am totally fine with, by the way.

MARK

I'll just go over to Mrs Bilow's and demand she keep the dog in at night.

ADDISON

Or, we could just try being friendly.

Noah sits down at the table again.

NOAH

Friendly? With Mrs Bilow, Mother?

The family starts laughing at her idea.

DANIELLE

What is this crazy idea?

ADDISON (ashamed)

Look, I am serious. How about I invite her over tonight for a cup of coffee and I bake a pie?

DANIELLE

I thought you wanted this to go well.

MARK (with reluctance in tone)

Okay, we'll have Mrs Bilow over. But I want everyone on their best behavior. (pointing at Ryan) Especially you, mister.

RYAN

I don't think I have a best behavior, Father.

MARK

Yeah? Well you better find one before tonight.

ADDISON (as she goes to the phone)

In her defence, Mrs Bilow wasn't always like this. She actually used to be kinda' nice.

RYAN (confused)

When was that?

ADDISON

Let's see, how old are you...?

The Sloan family are sitting in the lounge room in the evening with Mrs Bilow. Savannah is in her highchair. They all have a plate of pie.

MRS BILOW

All right, I've got my pie. What do you want?

ADDISON

We don't want anything, Mrs Bilow.

DANIELLE (with a smile)

Yeah, we're just being neighborly.

MRS BILOW (accusingly, at Ryan)

What did he do?

RYAN (defensively, with a shrug)

I didn't do anything!

MRS BILOW (hostile)

I don't like you, Ryan.

RYAN (calmly, putting his pie down)

Well, I like you Ms. Bilow. In fact, I'd like to "take care of you".

Mrs Bilow realizes Ryan's play on words and gives him a dark face with narrow eyes.

MARK (pointing at Ryan)

Out.

Ryan rolls his eyes and slowly walks out of the room, through to the kitchen.

ADDISON (politely)

Mrs Bilow. So you have a new dog? A little Yorkie?

MRS BILLOW (realizing)

So that's what this is about?

NOAH

It's not not what this is about.

MRS BILLOW

Dog's got a name: Phosphate.

Danielle starts laughing and accidently snorts.

DANIELLE (through laughter, with a smile)

That's funny, because, you know, "Phosphate" is like so big, and strong, and your dog is so... so... (Mrs Billow gives her a look of displeasure) ...just being neighborly.

MARK (to Mrs Bilow)

Look, the thing is, Phosphate has a tendency to bark... a lot. All night long.

ADDISON

So we were wondering if maybe you could bring him in before bed time.

MRS BILLOW

I 'dunno. Fresh air's good for dogs.

MARK (trying to be funny)

Well, sleep is good for people. Especially for a Plastic Surgeon and a Neonatal Surgeon.

Mark looks over at Danielle and laughs with her. Mrs Billow fake laughs but then speaks the truth:

MRS BILLOW (seriously)

I had that same thought after every one of your many babies arrived.

Addison looks around the room awkwardly.

MARK

We were talking about the dog.

MRS BILLOW

Well, since we're airing our grievances...

DANIELLE (interrupting; pointing at Mrs Billow's plate)

We begged her not to make that pie.

MRS BILLOW

I was gunna' say, that maybe there's a little something you can do for me.

ADDISON

Oh, Mrs Billow, we've already told you. We're not sending Ryan to military school.

MARK

But if it's a deal breaker, we are willing to send him to other places.

Mrs Billow walks over to the window.

MRS BILLOW

I was talking about your oak-tree out back. There's a branch that hangs over my yard, always dropping egg-corns and making a big mess.

MARK (standing)

No problem! Dog goes in, branch comes off. (holding out his hand for Mrs Billow to shake) We got a deal?

Mrs Billow is hesitant before she shakes Mark's hand.

MRS BILLOW

We have a deal.

DANIELLE (protesting from her seat)

But, Dad, that branch holds our tree house!

MARK

So what? You kids haven't been up there in years.

NOAH

I'm confused. Is Ryan going somewhere or not?

Everyone looks at Noah like he's an alien.

MRS BILLOW

You know, if that tree house comes down, that'll be even better. More sunlight for my vegetable garden. (talking about herself) Start eating healthier, might even make my goal of living to be a hundred.

Noah spits out a big spray of water from his mouth after hearing Mrs Billow's goal. Mrs Billow thinks no more of it and goes towards the door to leave. Addison rushes over to her.

ADDISON

Mrs Billow, don't you want to stay and finish your pie?

MRS BILLOW (trying not to offend)

Eh, you have a good night now.

Addison smiles half-heartedly as Mrs Billow leaves. Ryan walks back in from the kitchen.

RYAN

She's gone? (sarcastic disappointment) But I didn't get my hug.

MARK (sitting back down)

Well, at least we'll finally be able to get some sleep.

DANIELLE

Too bad we have to loose our tree house.

RYAN

We have a tree house?

NOAH

Yeah! Danielle, Tanya and I used to go up there all the time when we were little.

DANIELLE (laughing as she remembers)

Yeah, we had so much fun up there.

ADDISON (feeding Savannah)

Are you kidding me? All you three ever did up there was fight.

NOAH

That's now how I remember it. We had great times.

DANIELLE

Yeah. I mean, except for, you know, all those times where you fell out the window.

NOAH (trying to cover his embarrassment)

Well I enjoyed those too.

RYAN

How did I not know we had a tree house?

MARK

Well, 'cause it's kind of overgrown. I built it that summer we went to Athens.

He stands up and walks away.

RYAN (standing and shouting, annoyed)

You guys went to ATHENS?!

NOAH

Well, yeah! We used to do all kinds of fun stuff.

RYAN

When did that stop?

DANIELLE (to Ryan)

Wait, how old are you?

Ryan looks offended.

Danielle and Noah are up in the tree house looking around at old memories. Danielle has the camera and is recording a video diary for Savannah.

DANIELLE (looking around, talking to camera)

Check it out, Savannah. Here's our old tree house. (pointing at the tea-set on the table) Oh, look! Here's our old tea-party set. (pointing at a board of checkers) And all our old board games... (pointing at a different bench) Oh, wait! And look at this. These are those Chinese handcuffs that Noah always used to get stuck in.

Noah is over in the corner and surely, he has got himself stuck in another set of the Chinese handcuffs. He is trying to release himself but can't.

NOAH

Uh, little help?

Danielle turns off the camcorder and places it down as she frees PJ from the handcuffs. As she places them back on the bench she notices an old baby doll and picks it up. It isn't in the best state - it is all dirty and has bandaids on the head.

DANIELLE (glad)

Oh, Baby Boo-Boo! Oh my goodness, I thought I lost her. It's been so many years.

NOAH (referring to the state of the doll)

And those years have not been kind.

DANIELLE (smiling)

Yeah, I remember I used to come up here and pretend Boo-Boo was a real baby. (smiling down at the doll) I was a very good mother, huh?

NOAH (matter-of-factly)  
Until you left your baby in a tree house for Eleven years.

Danielle is looking over at the wall and notices something. She drops the doll and runs over.

DANIELLE

Oh, wow, look. (looking at the wall) Here's something you carved into the wall. (reading)"Noah hearts SC". (looking at Noah) Who's SC?

NOAH (proudly)

Sour Cream. (Danielle looks weirdly at him, he exhales deeply) Ah, it was a simpler time.

DANIELLE (looking around)

You know what stinks?

NOAH (thinks Danielle is talking about the sour cream)

When they pre-mix it with onions for onion dip?

DANIELLE

No. It stinks that Savannah is never gonna get to use this tree house.

NOAH

She'd probably love it up here.

Mark is calling the kids down.

MARK (VO)

Kids! Come on down now.

DANIELLE (pleadingly)  
Noah, we have to save this place for Savannah.

NOAH

Well, I wish we could, but Dad made a deal.

DANIELLE (trying to think of a reason)  
Yeah, well... deals are made to be broken!

NOAH (pointing commemoratively)

Right! The golden rule!

Danielle looks confused at how she fooled Noah so easily. Mark calls them again and this time they come to the window.

MARK (VO)

Kids!

As they look out the window, they see that Mark is holding his safety glasses and a chainsaw.

DANIELLE (she and Noah are leaning on the window)

Hey, Dad, we changed our minds. We don't want to loose the tree house after all.

MARK

It's too late. I already shook hands on it.

DANIELLE

Well, can we at least talk about this?

NOAH

Yeah, can we take a family vote?

MARK

This isn't a democracy, guys! And by the way, even if it was (holds up his chainsaw), the guy with the chainsaw ALWAYS wins. (waving them down) Come on. Come on down.

DANIELLE (cheekily)  
No!

MARK (shocked)  
No...?

DANIELLE (smirking)  
No. We're not leaving.

NOAH

Yeah. We're staying right here. (forceful) We're fighting the power!

MARK (pointing at the ground)  
Get down here now or you're grounded!

NOAH (as though it is obvious)  
You can't ground someone who isn't actually on the ground!

DANIELLE

Yeah. Right on, Noah. Fight the power!

MARK

You know what? (puts on his safety glasses and holds up the chainsaw) Good like fighting the power saw!

Danielle and Noah look slightly alarmed when Mark pulls the string and the motor of the chainsaw rumbles up.

MARK (with a triumphant smile and tone)

You're coming down one way or another!

DANIELLE

No, we are not! OK?! We have history on our side. WE are going to protest peacefully like Ghandi and Martin Luther King. He had a dream.

MARK (despairingly)

Yeah? Well, I got a dream too, Danielle! To get some sleep!

Mark powers up the chainsaw and rumbles even louder.

DANIELLE (shouting with a victorious tone)

You're not scaring us!

NOAH

No, we laugh at you! Ha ha ha - Ha ha ha!

takes off his glasses and turns the chainsaw down.

MARK

All right, you know what? I'm done messing around! (trying to make them scared) I'm bringing out the big guns. Yeah-ahhhheaaahhhh. That's right. MOM!

Satisfied he has scared them, Mark walks off into the house.

DANIELLE (calling after him, not scared)  
Hoo-hoo, you go get Mum.

NOAH

Yeah, she doesn't scare us! (once Mark out of ear shot, he looks at Danielle) This is bad, he's getting Mother.

DANIELLE

Lock her up!

Frantically, Danielle and Noah close the window on their side so they are shut in.

Mark storms inside to the living room where Addison is folding some washing. The back door slams as he enters.

MARK (pointing outside, demanding)  
Go out there and get your kids out of that tree.

ADDISON (non-seriously)

OK, why are they always my kids when they won't do what you want?

MARK (angry)

They're having some sort of sit in to save the tree-house. Now, I-I-I appreciate that they're taking a stand, I just don't like that it's against me!

ADDISON (amused almost at her husband)

Would you calm down?!

MARK (agitated)  
But I'm the father! I'm in charge around here! (on his wife's narrow eyes and face) ...When you're not home.

ADDISON

Honey, you are getting upset over nothing. This is Danielle and Noah we're talking about. They can't be in the same room for five minutes without getting into a fight. They won't last an hour up there.

MARK (finally agreeing)  
All right. (with force) But when they come down, they're getting punished for defying me. (Addison gives him yet more narrow eyes and expression) ...If that's okay with you.

Addison continues folding the washing.

Danielle and Noah are sitting in the tree house playing a game of checkers. Noah is starting to get bored and he sits back from the table.

NOAH (unenthusiastic)

I'm tired... and cold. How much longer can we keep this up?

DANIELLE

We've been up here for twelve minutes.

NOAH

If I'd known we were going to protest, I would've prepared. For one thing, I wouldn't have had that extra large root-beer.

DANIELLE (assertive)

Let's just stay focused on why we're here. For Savannah.

NOAH

That doesn't help. Savannah gets to pee whenever she wants. Which is why my idea-

DANIELLE (interrupting)

OK, please don't tell me about diaper for teens again.

Ryan steps into the tree house from the opening on the floor.

NOAH

Hey, Ryan.

DANIELLE

Hey.

RYAN (looking around)

So, this is the famous tree house I never knew about?

DANIELLE

Wanna' join our sit in?

NOAH (trying to sound smart)  
Just like when Ghandi and Billy Jean King teamed up to stop the civil war.

DANIELLE (disappointed and amazed)  
Wow. Almost every word in that sentence was wrong.

NOAH (to Ryan)  
Whataya' say, Ryan? Are you in?

RYAN (shrugging)

I'm in.

NOAH

Great.

DANIELLE (claps)  
Yeah!

Ryan goes to shut the hatchet from which he came in from.

NOAH

Oh, but first you'll need to bring us some supplies. Just the essentials: snacks, my video games, my guitar, cocoa...

DANIELLE

Wow. Dude, this is a sit-in, not a move-in.

NOAH (looking at Ryan still)

Oh, and some sour cream! (looking at Danielle) Yeah, that's right. The love affair continues.

RYAN (heading back down)

Well, I'll be back.

Ryan closes the hatchet as steps back down.

Mark is looking out the window in the lounge room with binoculars, trying to spy on the kids. Ryan walks past carrying things to take up with him to the tree house: food, sleeping bags, and games.

MARK (turning)

What are you doing?

RYAN

Oh, I'm gonna' join the sit-in. (proud) I have to do what's right, Father.

MARK

How about I take you out for ice cream instead?

Almost instantly, Ryan realizes he has a better offer and drops everything he is holding with a loud crash as it falls.

RYAN (smirking)  
I'll be in the car.

Ryan walks outside.

Up in the tree house, Danielle and Noah are still sitting around looking even more bored. Noah is shuffling a deck of cards while Danielle sits anxiously next to him.

NOAH

What was that crazy card game, we used to play with all the eight's?

DANIELLE (obviously)

Crazy eight's?

NOAH (as if it doesn't ring a bell)

No...

DANIELLE (anxious)

Where is Ryan with the snacks? Now I'm getting hungry.

NOAH

So hungry. Keep thinking I smell filet migion cooking.

Danielle sniffs around a bit and she scents something.

DANIELLE

Yeah, me too.

NOAH

Really?

Danielle and Noah open up the window and look down. Sure enough, Mark is down there on the ground cooking on the BBQ and making sure he waves the smell up to the tree house in attempt to spite his kids. His apron is orange and says "BIG DADDY." He looks up as he waves the steams up.

MARK (trying to remain calm)

Oh, hey! Don't mind me. Just making dinner for my family. You know, the ones on the ground.

DANIELLE (laughing slightly)

Yeah, OK? We know what you're doing and it's not gonna' work.

MARK (teasingly as he cooks)  
Well, suit yourself. But I'm making one medium rare. The way someone likes.

NOAH (aside to Danielle, tempted)

I like medium rare, he's talking about me.

DANIELLE

Stay strong.

MARK

Now I'm gonna be right back. I'm going inside the house to check on my chocolate eclairs.

Mark cackles evilly as he strides back in the house.

NOAH (calling after)  
Two can play at this game!

Noah turns back into the tree house to fetch something.

DANIELLE

Well, yeah, if we had a BBQ and some steaks.

Noah holds up a toy fishing rod.

NOAH (sneakily and with a grin)

Catch of the day: T-Bone.

DANIELLE

Yes!

They lean over the window again and Noah lowers the line.

NOAH

OK...

DANIELLE (looking down)

Oh, no, you'll never get the T-Bone. Go for the sirloin.

NOAH (deep as he looks)  
All right. Yeah... (excited) I got it! I got it!

DANIELLE

I've never loved you more!

NOAH

No...

All of a sudden, Noah looses grip of the fishing rod and drops it down on the BBQ. The mood goes from excitement to disappointment again.

DANIELLE

Oh, you idiot!

Mark comes back outside and spots the toy fishing rod cooking on the BBQ. He laughs teasingly.

MARK

Hehehehe. (holding it up) I think somebody overcooked their fishing pole. (Danielle and Noah look slightly embarrassed) This looks more "medium-well".

Mark laughs evilly and places it onto the plate he is holding. Noah sits down on a box in the corner of the tree house.

NOAH (frustrated)

I'm so hungry! But there's nothing to eat up here. (holding up an acorn) Or is there...? Acorns! Acorns are food, right?

DANIELLE

Eww! For squirrels.

Noah starts trying to bite into the acorn but isn't very successful.

NOAH (annoyed)

How do squirrels do this?!

DANIELLE

Well they're squirrels.

NOAH (giving in)  
You know what? I can't take this anymore. I'm done.

Noah leans down to step out of the tree house, but Danielle pulls him back up.

DANIELLE

What?! No! You're just giving up? That is so like you.

NOAH (insulted)

What is so like me?

DANIELLE (flustered)

To be a quitter.

NOAH

Oh, yeah? Well you're bossy.

DANIELLE (calm at first, insulted)

I am not bossy. (demanding, in his face) Don't you ever call me that again! I forbid you!

NOAH

Bossy.

DANIELLE

Quitter.

NOAH

Oh, real mature.

DANIELLE

Oh, I am more mature than you!

NOAH

Oh, whatever.

Danielle gets an inflated plastic bat and starts hitting into Noah with it.

NOAH

Hey!

Noah grabs up Danielle's doll and hangs it over the edge of the window.

NOAH

All right! Drop the bat, or Baby Boo-Boo becomes Baby BBQ!

DANIELLE

You wouldn't dare!

NOAH

Try me.

Noah wobbles the doll up and down.

DANIELLE

Give me the baby.

NOAH

Give me the bat.

DANIELLE

The baby.

NOAH

The bat.

Danielle and Noah step narrowly across to each other and briskly exchange their items, careful that one doesn't escape with both. Danielle puts the doll down and as she turns around Noah starts whacking into her with the bat. She gets her own one and starts hitting into him also, and as the battle becomes more violent Danielle accidentally pushes Noah out the window... he is left hanging upside down as Danielle races to look.

DANIELLE

Noah!

NOAH (hanging)

Pull me up! Pull me up.

Danielle starts to heave up Noah with great struggle and sighs. She stops.

DANIELLE

Oh wait. Are you quitting?

NOAH

What?!

DANIELLE

You know, like, if I pull you back in, will you keep doing the sit in?

NOAH

Since my alternative is a face-first dive into a BBQ, yes.

Danielle starts heaving again and grunts, but lets him hang again:

DANIELLE

Oh, ah, one more thing. (with a cheeky expression) You have to drive me wherever I want to go for the next month,since you have the Merecedes.

NOAH

Deal! Now pull me up, my face is burning.

DANIELLE

OK..

Danielle keeps on pulling and Noah helps himself up with the guidance of his hands. After a while, he is able to sit back up in the tree house.

NOAH (looking distressed)

Thank you for saving me.

DANIELLE (casually with a wave of her hand)

No problem.

NOAH

Although, you wouldn't have had to save me, if you didn't push me out of the tree house!

All of a sudden, Noah grabs up the plastic bat again and starts attaching Danielle with it, cornering her down. She holds up her hands in surrender.

DANIELLE

Wow, wow, wow! Wait! Stop! Truce. Truce. (Noah drops the bat) Gosh, what is wrong with us? We're going at it like six year olds.

NOAH

Mother was right. Us and Tanya did fight up here all the time, didn't we?

DANIELLE

Yeah, and nothing's changed. We're still doing it.

NOAH

Is this the way it's always gonna' be between us?

DANIELLE

I hope not. I mean, I don't wanna' be sitting on the porch of our old folks home whacking each other with foam bats.

NOAH (sounding annoyed)

Oh, do we have to live in the same old folks home?

DANIELLE (being serious)

Noah, if we can't come together and do this one thing for Savannah, we're not gonna' be able to come together to do anything.

NOAH (now serious also)  
You're right. We can do this. (holding out his knuckle) For Savannah?

DANIELLE

For Savannah.

Danielle clangs her knuckle fist with Noah. Looks like they've finally come to common ground. There is an awkward silence.

DANIELLE

So, uh... what do you wanna' do now?

NOAH

I 'dunno... (tuts) Pfft, I wish we could hurry up and save this tree house so we could get the heck out of this tree house!

Back in the house, The other three members- excluding Savannah; are sitting down at the kitchen table for dinner. Mark points out the window as he comes and sits down.

MARK (about Danielle and Noah)

They're still up in that tree. (to Addison, as he sits) You said they'd be down by now.

ADDISON

Well I thought they would be.

Ryan holds up his steak which has the remains of the toy fishing rod Noah and Danielle used earlier on.

RYAN

Why is there a plastic hook in my steak?

Eat around it.

ADDISON (cheerful)

You know, when you think about it, this is actually kind of nice. I mean, Danielle and Noah are finally working together on something. I'm proud of them.

MARK (aggravated)

Whose side are you on? Ours or the rebels? (points outside)

ADDISON

The Rebels? ...OK, you realize we're not actually at war, right?

MARK

Of course I do. For that to happen, someone would have to issue a formal declaration of war. (looking back through the living room) ...Which should almost be done printing out.

ADDISON

Mark, they're doing exactly what we taught them to do. They're standing up for what they believe in.

MARK (mad, with a raised voice)

Well you know what?! Now we're going to teach them don't mess with daddy! (pointing upstairs) Ryan, go get your water-balloon launcher.

Ryan stands.

ADDISON (ordering tone)

Ryan, sit. (to Mark) Mark, you're taking this too far.

MARK

Uh, no I'm not. (to Ryan) And I gave you an order, mister! (stands again)

ADDISON (looking directly at Mark)

Ryan, stand down!

Mark looks disappointed at his son. Ryan moves closer to Addison.

RYAN

Sorry, Dad. But I'm a little more afraid of Mum.

MARK

Fine. I'll fight this battle myself.

Addison gives him a 'look' and Mark walks out.

ADDISON

Ryan, sweetheart, you're not really afraid of me are you?

RYAN

A little.

ADDISON (shrugging)  
Good.

Addison takes a forkful of food into her mouth.

Mark comes running outside with the water balloon launchers full of water balloons. He looks up to see where the kids are in the tree house. The window is open.

MARK (shouting out)

I'm giving you one last chance to come down! (there's no answer) OK! Ha-ha- all right. I don't like doing this. But you forced my hand.

Mark stands on one of the water balloon launchers and hauls one shooting up towards the tree house, and the force of it closes one of the windows.

MARK

Ah! (annoyed) Oh, come on. You got lucky! You got SO lucky! You know what? The next one's coming right through the window.

Suddenly, Noah and Danielle come to the window, but they're not alone. Addison, holding Savannah, along with Ryan, have joined them.

ADDISON (VO)

Yeah? Beat that!

All at once, the family throws a dozen water balloons down at Mark. He tries to shield himself. The family cheers.

MARK (confused)

What are you doing?

ADDISON (with a smile)

Fighting the power!

MARK (almost sad)

But we're the power.

ADDISON

The kids are right. This tree house is worth saving!

On the ground, Mrs Billow walks through the gate and approaches Mark.

MRS BILLOW

What is going on over here?

MARK

You know, this really isn't a good time, Mrs Billow.

MRS BILLOW.

You better get a handle on that wife and kids of yours, because right now looks like they're kicking your butt.

MARK (impatient)

Would you let me deal with this? Please?

MRS BILLOW (with power)

You better. 'Cause Phosphate is getting kinda' lonely. I'm thinking of getting another dog.

MARK (intimidated)

Are you threatening me?

MRS BILLOW (spiteful)

This one's gonna be female. Might even have some puppies.

Mark looks at Mrs Billow with a really "cheesed off" face. He sighs and starts to climb the ladder up the tree house. Mrs Billow smiles as she watches him go.

MRS BILLOW (calling after Mark)

That's right. You go get them down. Time to work those Plastic Surgeon hands!

As Mark reaches the tree house, he leans inside and the family gets ready to throw more balloons at him.

DANIELLE

Oh, he's coming up.

NOAH

Get the balloons ready.

MARK

Hold your fight!

RYAN (holding up a water balloon)

Careful, Father. This could be a trick.

MARK (stepping in)

I come in peace. I come to join the resistance.

The family all cheer him in with welcome. Mark leans out the window and calls down to Mrs Billow:

MARK

That's right, Mrs Billow. I don't care about your dog. Oh, the Plastic Surgeon hands are working! And they're staying up here with my family!

Again, the family cheer and give each other a high five. Mrs Billow walks back off into her house looking annoyed.

DANIELLE (to Savannah, cute voice)

You're gonna' have a tree house, Savannah. For a long, long time.

NOAH

Yup.

Suddenly, from beneath them, there's a snapping sound. The branch holding the tree house together is falling... Mrs Billow, now at her porch, turns back to look. The family all stand stone still in the tree house with fear.

NOAH

What was that?

DANIELLE

Hey, have we ever all been up here at the same time?

Mark holds up his arm for everyone to remain calm as the tree house starts shaking and there's a big snap as it falls to the ground. Mrs Billow watches it all happen. There's some grunts of pain as they all get to their feet, being lucky enough to all survive the fall. But Savannah is missing from Addison's baby holder...

ADDISON

Is everyone okay?

KIDS

Yeah...

MARK

Yeah, I think so.

There's a cry from Savannah which grabs Danielle's attention. She looks up and notices her baby sister hanging in her baby strap from a branch in the tree.

DANIELLE

Oh, look!

Noah, being the closest, slowly gets her from the branch and even more slowly hands her back to Addison. They all sigh with relief when she's okay. Mrs Billow walks back through the gate.

MRS BILLOW (looking and sounding satisfied)

Was that so hard?

Mark approaches Mrs Billow.

MARK (calm and sounding mellow)

Yeah. Well the tree house is down, so you're going to be bringing your dog in tonight, right?

MRS BILLOW

Oh, Phosphate doesn't belong to me. I was just dog-sitting for a couple of days. (the whole family, Mark in particular, look distressed) What?! I'm a cat person. And an excellent negotiator. (laughs evilly)

Mrs Billow points at Ryan and continues to laugh as he walks back into her backyard. Her laughing can still be heard over the fence. Ryan gets a balloon and is about to throw it at Mrs Billow.

MARK

Do not throw that balloon! (gets the launcher) We're going to launch that balloon!

RYAN

Oh, yeah!

DANIELLE

Go, Father!

Ryan and Mark ready the launcher and shoot it right over the fence. They hear it land right on Mrs Billow and all jump around with cheer. Everyone high-fives.

The next day, Mark, Noah, and Ryan are out the back constructing a new tree house to put in. Danielle is making a video diary for Savannah.

DANIELLE (into the camera, the boys constructing)

Well Savannah, dad and the boys are building you a new tree house. (walking off) So, someday you can go up there and play with Baby Boo-Boo. You know, just as soon as we find her head. (chuckles as she holds up Baby Boo Boo's body with a tennis ball stuck in where the head should be) Right now she's Baby Tennis-Ball! Yeah, whoo! ...No, not as much fun. Well... good luck, Savannah.

Danielle switches the video camera off.

Danielle is sitting on the couch in the living room reading a magazine. Mark comes running in through the back door holding a mask.

MARK

Sssshhhh!

DANIELLE

What are you doing?

MARK (standing in front of the kitchen door)

Ryan says he is more scared of Mum than he is of me. So, I'm going to scare him. (puts on the mask over his face and picks up a chainsaw. Ryan walks through) Arrrrggggggghhhhhh!

Ryan doesn't even blink. He calmly waves at Mark.

RYAN

Hey Father.

Mark shrugs as Ryan goes and sits down beside Danielle. Addison walks in from the front door, still wearing her lab coat from Seattle Grace.

ADDISON (as she enters)  
Ryan, honey, did you finish your homework?

RYAN (terrified, stammering)

I-I-I-I-'m on it, Mom!

Ryan looks scared out of his wits as he runs off upstairs. Addison drops a magazine on the couch and walks past Mark, who has taken off his mask, with a teasing look.

ADDISON (smirking)

You either got it or you don't.

She walks through to the kitchen and Mark watches his wife of twenty years go, wondering what he missed.

(END OF CHAPTER THREE)


	4. Chapter 4

[Scene: Derek and Meredith's kitchen. Owen is there as Izzie enters.]

IZZIE: Hey.

OWEN: Hey. I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something?

IZZIE: What you got?

OWEN (checks the refrigerator): Okay, let's see, they got strained peas, strained carrots... Ooh! Strained plums. We haven't tried that yet.

IZZIE: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it spending lots of time with Callie again? I mean, apart from the great food we get here.

OWEN: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Cameron. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.

IZZIE: Oh my god, Callie asked me if I knew anyone for her too.

OWEN: Why are they doing this?

IZZIE: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.

OWEN: You know what's crazy? These jars. What is it, like two bites in here?

IZZIE: I just wish they'd realize they should be together.

OWEN: I know, I know. And when they had Courtney and moved back in together, I figured y'know, that's where things were headed.

IZZIE: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.

OWEN: Yes, and they should name one of their kids Owen. I may not have anymore kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name.

IZZIE: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realize how good they are for each other.

OWEN: Yeah, because it is slim pickings. Cristina and I went on a double date last night with Mark and Addison: Yuck! But we should probably keep it down; she's asleep on the couch.

IZZIE: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?

OWEN: I know; that just pushes them further and further apart.

IZZIE: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Cameron and Callie up on horrible dates, so that they'll realize how good they are together.

OWEN: Ooh, that's a great plan!

IZZIE: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)

(They both start laughing really loudly.)

OWEN: Shhh! Not so loud, we don't wanna wake up, uh...

(He looks at Cristina on the couch but he can't remember why they're at the Shepards.)

[Scene: Alex and Arizona's. They're in the kitchen as Meredith enters.]

MEREDITH: Hey!

ARIZONA: Hey!

MEREDITH: You guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you?

ALEX: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.

MEREDITH: I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Anthony tonight.

ARIZONA: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?

MEREDITH: Well, Derek and I are going out with the Sloans, their kids, our older two, my mom and Richard. Hey, did you know Izzie set Callie on a blind date, and Owen set Cameron on one too?

ARIZONA: Oh my god.

ALEX: Wow.

MEREDITH: Why? What's the big deal that my little brother is going on a blind date?

ARIZONA: Just figured, 'cause him and Callie are...

MEREDITH: What, slept together a year and a half ago and had a baby? Yeah, they're all set.

ALEX: Well, I think it's great that they're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!

ARIZONA: You want a higher-paying job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a resume!

MEREDITH: So I'll bring him by around seven? Is that okay?

ARIZONA: Oh, it's perfect.

MEREDITH: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! He's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that he's eating solid food, he poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause he likes to grab it. And oh, he's also in this phase where if you leave the room, he screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!

ALEX: (reading the newspaper) Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name.

[Scene: Hospital desk. Owen is drinking coffee and writing prescriptions by the desk as Izzie enters.]

IZZIE: Ooh, Owen.

OWEN: Hey.

IZZIE: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Callie with the worst guy tonight.

OWEN: All right! Who is he?!

IZZIE: Well, it's this guy I performed surgery on in med school. And by performing surgery, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.

OWEN: (gives a thumbs up sign) Okay, okay. Wait till you hear who I got for Cameron.

IZZIE: Oh, yeah.

(They sit down on the bench)

OWEN: She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher!

IZZIE: A teacher?

OWEN: Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles?

IZZIE: Well, Meredith does and so does Cameron. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Owen, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!

OWEN: Oh my god, you're right!

IZZIE: Yeah.

OWEN: She even reads for pleasure!

IZZIE: How do you even know a woman like that, besides Cristina and our friends?

OWEN: What? I'm not allowed to know smart women?

IZZIE: Owen.

OWEN: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.

IZZIE: So now what do we do?

OWEN: Well, okay, I'll - I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else.

IZZIE: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Cameron, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!

OWEN: Ooh...I hear that's bad.

IZZIE: Ooh, so this is great! Callie's gonna have a terrible date, Cameron gets stood up, and then they'll realize how good they have it together.

OWEN: Ah, yes, The Plan! (Laughs loudly again, but he sounds more like Santa Claus.)

OWEN: It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... (Laughs the real "plan-laugh.") (They both start laughing again.) Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.

IZZIE: No, I think we killed it.

[Scene: Alex and Arizona's. Anthony is there in his playpen, while Alex is behind the couch.]

ALEX: Anthony? Anthony? Look at me! Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while.

(He does the ancient trick of going downstairs while behind the couch. As soon as he's out of sight, Anthony starts crying.)

ALEX: No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! It's okay, it's okay. I didn't go. Don't cry, it's just a bit! I'm your uncle Alex; funny is all I have!

(Arizona enters from their bedroom with a calendar.)

ARIZONA: Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the twenty-seventh, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours.

ALEX: I don't do that. (Arizona looks at him) I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the twenty-seventh?

ARIZONA: Yeah.

ALEX: Today is the twenty-seventh.

ARIZONA: No, it's not.

(Points at the calendar)

ALEX: Yes, it's also 1993.

ARIZONA: Oh my god. Today's the twenty-seventh?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also preformed a very questionable liver surgery at the hospital.

ALEX: It's okay. Go take the test and see if we're okay.

ARIZONA: Okay.

(She runs to the bathroom, while Alex starts acting like a chicken in front of Anthony. Anthony is silent, however.)

ALEX: Tough crib.

ARIZONA: Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here.

ALEX: I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.

ARIZONA: Alex!

ALEX: I am not working this week. There's not much to do around here!

[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Cameron is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]

CAMERON: Excuse me, is there a woman waiting at the bar? Someone average height, dark hair, perhaps doing a puzzle?

WAITER: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.

CAMERON: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.

WAITER: Can I get you another glass of wine?

CAMERON: Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone.

WAITER: Got stood up, huh?

CAMERON: Yeah, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date.

WAITER: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?

CAMERON: No!

(The waiter leaves.)

[Scene: Alex and Arizona's. Arizona emerges from the bathroom.]

ARIZONA: We're okay. I'm still ovulating.

ALEX: Oh, good, because as of four o'clock this afternoon, I am not.

ARIZONA: So, let's do this.

ALEX: I - I don't think I can.

ARIZONA: Come on. I know we're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.

ALEX: Because of Anthony.

ARIZONA: Oh my god, Anthony. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave him alone.

ALEX: Sorry.

ARIZONA: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can he even be aware of at this age?

ALEX: Well, he's aware when we leave the room. He may notice if we start... canoodling in it.

ARIZONA: Canoodling?!

ALEX: Well, I can't say "hump" or "screw" in front of the B-A-B-Y.

ARIZONA: I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so...

ALEX: Horrifying? Scarring? Something people go to jail for?

ARIZONA: I guess you're right.

ALEX: You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.

ARIZONA: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?

Another restaurant. Callie is studying the menu together with her date, John. John is a stoned and handsome restaurateur.]

CALLIE: Wow, everything looks so good! I think I'm gonna have the chicken.

JOHN: (staring at Callie) I - I just have to say this; you're really beautiful.

CALLIE: Oh, well, that's - that's very sweet. Thank you.

JOHN: I'm kind of funny looking.

CALLIE: What?

JOHN: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "ooh, why she out with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not!

CALLIE: (feeling awkward) So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken.

JOHN: I'm not funny either. So, if you were thinking, "well, he's not that good-looking, but maybe we'll have some laughs"... That ain't gonna happen.

CALLIE: Well, come on, John; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Izzie told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.

JOHN: I lost it. To drugs. (John makes a face as if his mouth is too dry.) I silk-screen t-shirts now.

CALLIE: Really? What's that like?

JOHN: It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money. That's right. I have no money, I'm not funny, I live in a studio apartment with two other guys, and I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.

CALLIE: (awkward chuckle) Now, come on, come on, John. There must be something that you like about yourself.

JOHN: I do like my hair.

CALLIE: Really?

[Scene: Hospital Hallway. Izzie and Owen are there. Izzie's cell phone rings.]

IZZIE: Hello?

(Callie is still at the restaurant, but John is gone.)

CALLIE: Izzie, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!

IZZIE: Hey, Callie!

CALLIE: This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep?

IZZIE: You know, you are talking about one of mine and Denny's dear, dear friends.

CALLIE: I don't care! This guy is a nightmare!

IZZIE: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.

CALLIE: He's not stoned.

IZZIE: Did he go out for a cigarette?

CALLIE: Yeah, fourteen times.

IZZIE: My dear, sweet Calliope.

(Callie hangs up in disgust.)

IZZIE: (to Owen) Well, our plan is working. Callie is having a miserable time, and Cameron is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.

OWEN: Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.

IZZIE: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done-or when Richard finds out what we did to his son, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.

[Scene: Alex and Arizona's.]

ARIZONA: He's asleep. Alex? (Alex wakes up and looks a bit confused when he finds that he has a pacifier in his mouth.) What are you doing?

ALEX: Anthony was doing it!

ARIZONA: He's asleep.

ALEX: Ooh, he's asleep, that means we can...

ARIZONA: Yes, but we have to be fast.

ALEX: (laughs) Okay, I'll try. And you can't make any noise.

ARIZONA: (laughs) Okay, I'll try.

(They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Owen enters.)

OWEN: Hello? (Anthony starts making noises, and Owen walks over to his playpen) Anthony? Hey! Hi! (He picks him up) How are ya? How are ya? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why's the bedroom door closed? (He walks over, but just before he knocks on the door, he hears some moans and looks shocked.) You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E! (He walks out quickly with Anthony in his arms)

[Scene: Delmonico's. Cameron is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]

WAITER: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.

CAMERON: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.

WAITER: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.

CAMERON: (surprised) Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.

WAITER: Ooh...

(Cameron sees the waiter looking at him.)

CAMERON: Just the crab cakes.

(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)

WAITER #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.

WAITER: Just get out of here, okay? It's Ellis Grey's son. This is a one- in-a lifetime chance to meet her son.

CAMERON: What's - what's going on?

WAITER: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.

CAMERON: What? You - you're making money off my misery?

WAITER: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.

CAMERON: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.

[Scene: Alex and Arizona's house. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Anthony is still gone.]

ARIZONA: Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast.

ALEX: I think we may have really done it this time.

ARIZONA: Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.

ALEX: You may wanna get some more of those too. (They walk over to the playpen) Where's Anthony?

ARIZONA: Oh my god, where's Anthony? Where's Anthony?

ALEX: Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you!

ARIZONA: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Meredith came home for her lunch break and picked up Anthony. You go look across the street, and I'll call her cell.

ALEX: Okay. (Runs out.)

ARIZONA: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Meredith.

[Scene: The high-end, expensive restaurant. Meredith's cell phone rings.]

MEREDITH: Oh, sorry, it's my phone. Hello?

ARIZONA: (on phone) Hey, Mere, how's it going?

MEREDITH: Oh my god, this is the worst conversation! (To Arizona.) What's up?

ARIZONA: Hey, did you stop by here?

MEREDITH: No.

ARIZONA: Oh my god, then... (Alex and Owen enter with Anthony) Oh, thank god! Anthony, there you are!

MEREDITH: What? What do you mean, "there you are"? Where was he?

ARIZONA: Oh, we were playing "peek-a-boo." He just – he loves it when I'm dramatic. (Arizona hangs up, and Meredith looks at her phone. Turns to Owen) Why the hell did you take him?

OWEN: Because you two were having sex!

ARIZONA: No, we weren't!

OWEN: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Alex's hair. (To Alex) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?

ALEX: All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Arizona's ovulating.

OWEN: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Anthony in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Meredith about this.

(Owen starts to leave.)

ALEX: No, no, no.

ARIZONA: No, please don't. Please, Owen. She and Derek will kill us!

OWEN: Hey, I gotta! Unless...

ARIZONA: Unless what?

OWEN: Unless you name your firstborn child Owen.

ALEX: What? Why?!

OWEN: Hey, I may never have anymore kids because Cristina doesn't want anymore after the two sets of twins, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.

ALEX: Your family name is Hunt.

OWEN: (BEAT) (Laughs) You almost had me.

(He leaves. Alex puts his hands on his face in relief)

[Scene: The street in front of the hospital. Callie and John are there.]

CALLIE: Well, I have to pick up my daughter soon but, uh...

JOHN: Look, I think I know the answer to this question, but... Would you like to make love to me?

CALLIE: Really, really not.

JOHN: Eh, it's just as well. Doesn't work anyway.

CALLIE: All right, well that's good to know. Good night, John.

(She walks over to the Hospital and enters to find Cameron sitting on the waiting room couch, eating crab cakes. She takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.)

CAMERON: Hey, what's wrong?

CALLIE: I just had a rough night.

CAMERON: Oh. Crab cake?

CALLIE: Eww!

CAMERON: Well, what happened?

CALLIE: Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but...

CAMERON: Meredith told me you had a blind date.

CALLIE: Yeah.

CAMERON: I did, too.

CALLIE: Oh.

CAMERON: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?

CALLIE: Oh, oh no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?

CAMERON: Why the hell does everyone keep saying that?

CALLIE: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up.

CAMERON: That bad?

CALLIE: Well, he makes t-shirts for a living, and he thought it would be appropriate to give me this.

(She holds up a black t-shirt with "FBI - Female Body Inspector" on the front.)

CAMERON: Female body inspector? What size is that?

[Cut to outside the waiting room. Izzie and Owen are walking down the coriander to the Ortho wing.]

IZZIE: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Owen?

OWEN: Uh-huh.

IZZIE: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?

OWEN: It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex.

IZZIE: Oh, so they owe me like, ten Izzies. (Izzie sees Cameron and Callie through the window.) Oh my god! Look, it's Cameron and Callie. Oh, the plan is working. (Owen does the "plan-laugh.") Don't, don't do the plan-laugh.

[Cut to inside the waiting room.]

CAMERON: The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.

CALLIE: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Izzie would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Owen set you up on a date that didn't even show.

CAMERON: Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.

[Cut to outside the waiting room.]

OWEN: We're geniuses! Yeah, look at them, look at them, they're really bonding.

IZZIE: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.

(Cameron and Callie turn around and look at Izzie and Owen with puzzled expressions on their faces.)

IZZIE: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!

OWEN: Where?

IZZIE: Mexico!

(They run down the hospital coriander with Cameron and Callie following right behind them.)

End credits.

[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Cameron and Jackson are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]

JACKSON: Can you believe they're still not here?

CAMERON: I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances?

JACKSON: I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now?

WAITER: What?

CAMERON: We've been stood up. (sniffles) And we want our free crab cakes.

WAITER: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.

(He points at John who's sitting at another table. He's staring at his hands.)

JOHN: I have such fat hands!

(He starts crying.)


	5. Chapter 5

December 1995.

"Why did I agree to do this?" Alex questioned as he held Anna while walking through the mall.

"Come on, honey. It'll be fun." Arizona said as she held Aiden's small hand.

"Dada, set down!" Anna exclaimed when they got to a display of holiday-themed toddler things.

"Say please." Alex said as he poked his little girl's nose, causing the baby girl to giggle.

"Pease daddy." Anna replied and flashed her daddy her best smile.

Alex couldn't get over how cute his daughter was being at the moment, so he gave in and set her down. Watching the little girl toddle around, looking at the display of Christmas jewelry and her twin brother joining her. Both were pretty cute kids he had to admit, he thought while wrapping an arm around his wife.

"I love you." he whispered into her ear.

"I love you too." she smiled and placed her hand on her hugely pregnant belly, where the little girl inside was giving lots of kicks. Sensing this, he placed his hand where their second daughter was growing.

"She's kicking a lot, huh?"

"She's strong like her daddy.'

Hearing these words made him fall even more in love with her. The twins came back a minute later; clearly bored and wanting to go.

They picked up both twins- one in each arm.

"Santa!" Aiden pointed.

"Santa?" Alex asked his son, "You kids want to see Santa?"

"Yes, Dada!" Aiden and Anna both exclaim.

"OK, let's see Santa then." they went to the line.

After a while of waiting the twins were ready to go up but Aiden became scared so he took Anna who also became scared.

"I can't believe I agreed to do this." Alex groaned as he held Anna. He had one very scared toddler in his arms, another very scared toddler, and a very hormonal and pregnant wife. This was so not going to go well. He sat the little blonde girl in Santa's lap: careful of the numerous bows Arizona made sure were perfect.

He grinned when his baby girl took off the man's fake grey beard. His proudness quickly ended.

"Uh-oh," Arizona exclaimed as she felt the tingling pain but couldn't see her wet shoes. "My water just broke." She admitted much to her husband's surprise.

"We went Christmas shopping while you were in labor?!" He asked a little too early which attracted the attention of a few people.

"I didn't think it was going to be a big deal," she grinned, "And labor takes hours, you know that." she added. "We did this before."

"Do you think we could stay for a little longer to help Anna expose this fraud?"

Several hours later at Seattle Grace, in the room where Arizona is in the bed, some of their friends enter.

"Hey!" Meredith greets as she put Anthony and Maya's car-seats down and let her second son out.

"Hey!" Alex greeted back.

"Hi." Derek said.

"Oh hi." Arizona replied.

"I can't believe this is taking so long. How are you doing?" Meredith questions as she held Maya.

"Oh not bad. Do you know that feeling when you're trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?" Arizona asked one of her dear friends.

"And soon someone will call her Mom again." Alex gloomed.

"Good luck, Man." Derek told his friend, being that him and Meredith already have four kids. Anthony and Maya being the ones in the room as Bailey and Elizabeth are with the rest of their friends; and some of the the interns.

"I went through the same thing with Addison." Mark announces as his wife gave him a glare that he quickly became afraid of.

"Shut up." Addison shushed him and rubbed her growing bump, "You'll be going through the same with the fourth one in five months."

"Oh that's five Alex. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesn't she want to come out?" Arizona asked as the fifth woman left.

"Y'know what I think it is? I think you've made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesn't want to leave, just like the twins." Alex told her,

"Oh. Look at you making up crap for me. Oh God!" She starts another contraction as Dr. Hill enters.

"Twenty-eight hours, you're a hero." The doctor beamed.

"Doctor you gotta do something! I think you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out." she begged.

"Actually, I think you're ready to go to the delivery room." Dr. Hill tells her.

"What?"

"Ten centimeters, you're about to become a Mom again."

"My God. OK." Another woman enters. "Ha-ha-ha beat ya! Sucker!" she exclaims.

In an empty on-call room, Mark and Addison enter.

"I think we found a place." Addison said.

"OK." Mark answers as they start kissing.

"Umm, wait! Do you want to set the mood a little?" she interrupted.

"Oh." He changes his voice into a weird, dark voice, "Hello, Addison."

"Not like that." she tells her husband.

"OK. Uh, we'll dim the lights, dim the lights." He suggests and goes to the light switch and finds it's not a dimmer switch when he flips the lights off. "Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. OK here. Here we go." He sprays an aerosol air freshener above her.

"OK! OK! Make me sick, but ok."

He hops onto the bed and they start making out.

"OK. Let's hurry—Oh wait! Do we have a condom?" Addison asked forgetting that she's already pregnant, and he looks at her. "Oh right!" She laughs and they resume making out when a resident catches them in the act, wondering why Sloan and Montgomery are going at it in an on-call room.

"Yes, 98.6. You're gonna be fine." Mark got off her.

The Delivery Room.

"Push. Push. Come on push for five seconds. 5…4…" Dr. Hill said.

"3-2-1 oh!" Arizona cries.

"OK, the next contraction should be in about twenty seconds."

"I can't. I can't push anymore, I can't."

"Sweetie you're doing great." Alex kissed her.

"Oh god, twenty seconds my ass!" she shouted. "I HATE YOU! YOU ARE NEVER TOUCHING ME AGAIN!"

"Here we go! OK, keep pushing! Wait! I see something." The doctor said.

"What? You do? You do?" Alex looks, "Oh my God!" he exclaimed.

"Don't say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what?" Arizona asked.

"What is that?" Alex questioned.

"It's the baby's buttock, she's breech." the doctor explained.

"Oh thank God, I thought she had two heads." Alex replied in relief, knowing that his baby is alright.

"Oh God. Is she gonna be okay?" Arizona asked with concern.

"She's gonna be fine. OK, she's in a more difficult position so you're gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push!" The doctor demanded.

"Go!" Alex rubbed his wife's back.

"Doctor Robbins you're gonna have to push even harder, nothing's happening!" the doctor said.

"I'm sorry, I can't!" Arizona cried.

"Yes you can, you had twins before!" Alex assured her as his lover, his wife and mother of his soon to-be three children's face scrunched up in pain.

"I can't!" Arizona insisted and continues crying.

"Hey! Hey! Honey, come on! You can! I know you can do this! Let's go!" Alex told her.

"I can't. Please, you do it for me." Arizona replied.

No! Come on let's—One more time! One final push! Ready? 1…2…3!" Alex counted. Arizona pushes so hard her head snaps up head-butting Alex and knocking him down.

"Good!" the doctor said.

"Keep pushing!" Alex ordered from the floor.

Are you okay?" Arizona asked her husband.

"You have no idea how much this hurts." Alex groaned as all of the women in the room turn and glare at him. "Keep going! Keep going!"

"Here we go!" the doctor said.

"Oh! Oh! She's upside down but she's coming! She's coming!"

"FUCK YOU, ALEX!" Arizona screamed as the baby came out.

"Oh! Oh my God oh! Oh my God she's here." Alex started to jump up and down.

Their baby girl cries.

"Oh she's…she's perfect." Alex smiles as he looks at his baby girl who is the splitting image of her mother and twin siblings. Honey blonde hair, olive green eyes, and a light dabbing of freckles.

"Oh, she's so tiny." Arizona starts to cry, "Where'd she go?"

"Oh it's okay. They're just-they're just wrapping her up." Alex kissed her neck.

"Okay. Well be careful with her, she's really tiny." Arizona replied.

"Here she is!" the doctor placed Baby Girl Karev into Arizona's waiting arms, who protectively held the pink bundle close to her. Never waiting to let her little girl out of her sight like she does with Anna.

"Oh hey you, Baby Girl. Thanks for living in me for nine months, then coming out of me." The baby cries. "I know! Oh. Yeah. Oh, she's looking at me. Hi! I know you." Arizona smiles, hypnotized by the beauty that is their second little girl.

"Do we have a name yet?" the doctor asked.

"Yes. Alice Juliette Karev." Arizona said as the baby looked up with her beautiful green eyes; her Olive green eyes.

Alex and Arizona look into each other's eyes and kiss.

"Hello baby girl." Alex greeted his little girl with a huge grin plastered across his face.


End file.
